My Journey

Today my post is inspired by my "time hop" app on my phone. I'm going to share with you a little bit about my testimony and how God used a group of junior high students three years ago to change my life. First, let me show you the Facebook post from three years ago that I'm referring to:

Now that you've read through that... let's go back. I've known I was called into the ministry since 2006 and even though in my mind, there were times I wanted to do other things, my heart always knew it was ministry. However, even though I knew I wanted to go into ministry, I had no clue which form of ministry. So I headed to VFCC in 2010 and entered as a Christian Ministries major with a drama concentration because I knew I wanted to go into ministry and I knew I loved theater. However, that turned out to not be quite what I thought it would be. I then switched to Children's Ministry and added a drama minor, but that wasn't for me either. I felt so lost because I didn't have a clue what to do. I remember the spot I was sitting on campus when I called my parents crying because I didn't know what to do. It was my mom who sort of pushed me to change my major once again to Youth Ministry... stating that "she has always been able to see me working with teenagers." So, I entered my third major since starting college in April of 2011 and I am thankful to say that I will be graduating with a degree in that third major. 

However, since I changed my major to Youth Ministry, there have been times I thought of changing it. The most significant snag in that plan came in July of 2011, only a few short months after I began that journey. I grew up in the Southern New England District of the Assemblies of God and I had gone to camp every summer since 2004. So naturally, after my first year of college I wanted to head back to camp as a team leader and because I had completed my first year of college, even though I was still only 18, I was eligible. I'll be the first to tell you that just because you're eligible to be a leader, if you're that young, doesn't mean you should... at least not for senior high camp. I went to senior high camp as a leader that summer... and honestly had one of the worst weeks of my life. It was very difficult for me to have a team full of mostly 18 year olds who were supposed to be under my authority, when I was only 18 myself. It also didn't help that my entire team was my friends, people I grew up with and who were only a grade level or two younger than me. Now, healing and forgiveness has happened and come in those relationships since that week... but in those moments... I was angry. By Wednesday of that week, I was done. I couldn't wait for the end of the week to come and when it did... I was seriously doubting my calling. I wanted to walk away from youth ministry... run away, actually. Physically, mentally, emotionally... I was exhausted. I went to bed that Friday night pleading with God to give me something else, anything else... to do with my life... because if youth ministry was what I experienced the last five days... I wanted nothing to do with it. 

I slept in the next day, naturally. However, when I did wake up, I felt strangely at peace. It was a very interesting feeling considering the week I had just had. That afternoon, my phone rang and it was my district youth director's wife, the lovely Mrs. Tina Moen. I answered the phone, wondering what was about to happen. As it turned out, they had three female leaders for junior high camp drop out at the last minute and Tina was calling to ask if I could come back for another week. I wanted to immediately tell her no... but something told me to wait. I told her I would talk to my parents and call her back. My parents were concerned about me going back, naturally, because I was sick and because they knew how bad my experience was the previous week. We talked about it and after some thinking of my own... I decided to go back for junior high camp. I could feel something pushing me to do so... so I did. 

Going back for that second week of camp was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I had the best kids. My co-leader, Daniel, was great and supportive. I had five girls, Devon, Sarah, Jocelyn, Audrey and Isabella and I bonded with them so much. The boys were incredible as well and by Wednesday, all the kids were calling me mom. The kids were respectful, they loved to have fun, and most of all they loved Jesus. God used that group of junior high students to completely transform my life and my heart. After the week of high school camp before it, my heart was so hardened to ever doing youth ministry again, let alone for the rest of my life. However, the Holy Spirit tugged on my heart to go back for junior high and He used my kids to soften my heart again to it. Those kids snuck around the blockades I had put up after the last week and kicked them down from the inside. God transformed my heart that week and re-solidified my call to work with youth for the rest of my life... and He used some pretty awesome people to accomplish that. Three years later... I sit here writing this and I am so thankful that I didn't give up. I'm so thankful I went back for another week... and I am SO excited and blessed that I get to do youth ministry for the rest of my life. 

The kids who stole my heart. <3

Now, if you have taken the time to read all of this... then I want to encourage you. Please, please, please... do not run away from what God wants you to do. I promise you that His plan for your life is SO much better than anything you will try to do on your own. It will not be easy. The devil will throw all sorts of things at you to try and get you off track because frankly, satan doesn't want you to accomplish God's plan. The devil will use anything and anyone to trick you away from God's call. Don't let him get to your head and your heart. Christ is more powerful than any scheme the devil has. Keep your eyes fixed on the Author and Perfecter of your faith because through Him you have authority over Satan and all you need to do is speak the name of Jesus and he will flee from you. Do not lose hope, do not give up. Christ has your back and He will work everything together for your good.